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"feared "

Book 7. (1 results) Captive of Gor (Individual Quote)

I feared, and yet desired, to find myself kneeling before a man at whose feet I would have no choice but to admit to myself not only what I was, but what I wanted to be. - (Captive of Gor, Chapter 11, Sentence #1018)
Chapter # Sentence # Quote
11 1018 I feared, and yet View more quotes about desired">desired, to find myself kneeling before a man at whose feet I would have no choice but to admit to myself not only what I was, but what I wanted to be.

Book 7. (7 results) Captive of Gor (Context Quote)

Chapter # Sentence # Quote
11 1015 How fearful! I feared I might become such that I would not for the world relinquish my condition, my state, my bondage, that my bondage would become more precious to me by far than my freedom had ever been.
11 1016 I suspected what might be the joys of love and service, the pleasures of kneeling and obedience, the pleasures, too, of being a will-less, subjugated, helpless sexual toy, forced, a writhing slave, to endure whatever lengthy, maddening raptures might be inflicted upon me, a rightless property and possession, the ecstasies of belonging to a man, the joys of being owned and dominated by him, by his strength, his intellect, and his will, the joys of subjection to a master.
11 1017 These thoughts frightened me.
11 1018 I feared, and yet desired, to find myself kneeling before a man at whose feet I would have no choice but to admit to myself not only what I was, but what I wanted to be.
11 1019 I wanted to belong to a man, I feared, who would find the true me, drawing her forth and exposing her, as brutally, as callously, as one might a stripped slave, and one who would then, with the whip and collar, if he saw fit, allowing me no escape, brooking no objections, teach me to myself.
11 1020 I heard the step of a guard outside.
11 1021 I knew several of them by their step.
How fearful! I feared I might become such that I would not for the world relinquish my condition, my state, my bondage, that my bondage would become more precious to me by far than my freedom had ever been. I suspected what might be the joys of love and service, the pleasures of kneeling and obedience, the pleasures, too, of being a will-less, subjugated, helpless sexual toy, forced, a writhing slave, to endure whatever lengthy, maddening raptures might be inflicted upon me, a rightless property and possession, the ecstasies of belonging to a man, the joys of being owned and dominated by him, by his strength, his intellect, and his will, the joys of subjection to a master. These thoughts frightened me. I feared, and yet desired, to find myself kneeling before a man at whose feet I would have no choice but to admit to myself not only what I was, but what I wanted to be. I wanted to belong to a man, I feared, who would find the true me, drawing her forth and exposing her, as brutally, as callously, as one might a stripped slave, and one who would then, with the whip and collar, if he saw fit, allowing me no escape, brooking no objections, teach me to myself. I heard the step of a guard outside. I knew several of them by their step. - (Captive of Gor)